지난 주말에 나의 사랑하는 딸의 결혼식을 주례했습니다. 나의 딸과 사위가 주례를 요청해서 영광스러운 자리에 서게 되었습니다. 안타깝게도 코로나 19 규제에 따라서 제한된 40명의 하객들만 초청된 조촐한 결혼식이었습니다. 신랑신부의 가족들과 자신들의 가까운 친구들만 초청되었기에 나의 이웃들은 초청되지 못했습니다.

이 결혼 예식의 내용을 소개하는 이유는 신랑신부의 개인적인 요청도 있었지만, 교회 목사로써 나의 주례는 하느님, 성령, 예수, 믿음 등의 전통적인 언어 없이도 모든 참석자들에게 감동적이었기 때문입니다. 비록 참석자들의 수는 적었지만 개신교인, 가톨릭 교인, 힌두교인, 무종교인으로 다양했습니다. 역시 캐나다 사회는 상호복합문화(Intercultural)인 것을 실감했습니다.

결혼 예식에서 교회식 기도와 삼위일체 축도 없이 그리고 전체적인 언어들이 문자적으로 기독교 언어들은 아니지만 다양한 문화적 배경을 가진 참석자들에게 우주적인(universal) 공감대를 이루는 결혼  예식이었습니다. 물론 참석자들은 주례자가 기독교 목사인 것을 알고 있었으며, 그들은 주례사에서 하느님의 의미, 예수의 의미, 생명과 삶의 의미 등을 충분히 이해했을 것으로 생각합니다.

요즘 “종교 없는 기독교” “교회 없는 사회” “하느님 없는 교회” 등의 말들을 서점과 미디어를 통해서 흔하게 들립니다. 나의 딸과 사위가 요청한 주례는 이러한 문화적 환경을 배려하라는 것이었습니다. 나는 문자적으로 하느님, 예수, 성령 등의 교회 언어를 사용하지 않았지만, 전체적인 내용들 안에 은유적으로 우주적이고 통합적인 삶의 의미를 담았습니다.

디트리히 본회퍼 목사가 “종교 없는 기독교”라는 용어를 처음 사용했습니다. 본회퍼 목사는 나치의 혹독한 탄압으로 감옥에 갇힌 때에 독일교회가 인간성에 대해 침묵하고 있는 것을 한탄하면서 “인간성이 성숙한 세대”가 절실하다고 역설했습니다. 오늘 우리 사회도 인간성이 성숙한 세대가 필요합니다.

비단 이러한 결혼 예식은 교회 안에서도 가능합니다. 왜냐하면 역사적 예수의 우주적이고 통합적인 정신이 심층적으로 담겨있기 때문입니다.

*      *      *      *     *

<결혼식 참석자들 거의 모두가 한국어를 이해하지 못해서 영어로 했습니다>

“Joining Hands & Hearts”

PROCESSION:

INTRODUCTION & WELCOMING:

Good evening everyone, on behalf of “B & G” I welcome you. 

(To Bride & Groom)

“B & G”, on behalf of your families and friends gathered here I welcome you as well. We welcome you to this moment in your lives and to the place you have come to in each other’s hearts. 

(To Guests)

All of our guests have been invited here for a purpose of meaningful and joyful life, not just to witness, but to participate fully with your thoughts and minds, to support “B & G” and their married life. “Families and Friends”, you are here because they feel close to you and ask that you join with them in this dedication of the purpose of life. You represent symbolically all the people in the world who will be touched in any way by the life of this couple. “B & G” have chosen this act of marriage and this public, lovely ceremony in this cheerful, common, living place to proclaim it. 

(To B & G)

“B & G”, This day we celebrate a Thoughtful & Heartful Agreement between the two of you. I congratulate you on the journey of your lives, on the strength and the courage it has taken for each of you to make your way to this place.

“B”, “G” is the gift of ‘Universal Love’ to you, but he is not a gift for you alone. In your love, may this man find within himself a greater sense of who he is meant to be. See the good in this man, accept him for who he is and who he shall be, that thus he might be made strong. In this way, the purpose of ‘Unconditional Love’ shall be accomplished in your relationship with “G” and in the love you share.

And so it is with you also, “G”, . . . that although Lisa is the gift of ‘Universal Love’ to you, she is not a gift intended for you alone. Love this woman, that in your love she might find herself as ‘Unconditional Love’ has created her, so beautiful and strong and brave and true, that everyone may be blessed by the presence of a woman who shines so. May she relax in your arms as she has never relaxed before. May she know, from now on, that there is one on whose love she can depend forever.

From this point forward, “B”, G’s needs will carry the same priority as your own. Likewise, “G”, from the point forward, B’s needs will be seen to be as important as your own. 

You shall not be as two conflicting or competing forces, but rather the energies of your lives shall

blend into harmony and oneness. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your beings.

To both of you, . . . I ask that you commit to a compelling future for yourselves, for any children you might one day have and to any part you might play in the Healing of the World. May you rejoice in Love & Hope & Joy.

ASKING:

“G”, do you take “B” to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour her and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live?  (“I will”)

“B”, do you take “G” to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour him and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, keep only unto him as long as you both shall live?  (“I will”)

VOWS:

Would you repeat after me, “G”?

(G)

I choose you to be my wife, my partner, my friend.                                                

I promise to make sure always our life together whether we are rich or poor,

happy or sad, healthy or sick, lucky or unlucky.

I will stay true to you and love you for the rest of my life.

(B)

I choose you to be my husband, my partner, my friend.

I promise to make sure always our life together whether we are rich or poor, happy or sad,

healthy or sick, lucky or unlucky.

I will stay true to you and love you for the rest of my life.

BLESSING:

“B & G”, in your love for one another, draw deeply from the well of ‘Unconditional Love’.

“G”, grow strong in the arms of this woman.
“B”, grow glorious in the love of this man.

And may we all be blessed because of your compassion.

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE:

“B & G”, having chosen each other in love and freedom, having declared their promises before this gathering, and having made their pledges to one another, are now “husband and wife”. 

“G”, you may kiss your bride.

RECESSION: